Day 33... on Day 32 - The Fate of Being Late
It's About Time.
One early - but big - revelation from this #40Daysto40 journey? I'm LATE. A lot. Like, too much.
As someone who consistently meditates and helps others to practice or begin a practice of mediation so they can be more aware of their surroundings and their emotions, body, and what they're putting in the world, I would be a total asshole to not do the same myself, right?
So... in this phase of determining my starting location I decided to take a look at how I really can practice what I promise I don't preach: that meditation and mindfulness will make an impact in my world so I can in turn make a more positive impact in our world. And this idea was so motivating in and of itself the starting location almost blog post nearly wrote itself.
The funny thing: I decided to take this look last Friday, 39 of the journey.
Then I thought it would be better to do it on Day 37.
I wrote, completed, and won an award for this blog post (in my head) on Day 35.
And finally, today, day 32, I sat down to write the damn thing. Which was supposed to be posted on Day 33... ugh.
What's the Delay?
Why? Why am I spending so much time avoiding the finish? Why do i put off for weeks what I can take care of in about an hour?
It's about time. Time I take to invest in myself, my work, my family vs time I spend in my head in fantasy, fear and fleeing, which causes me to do any myriad activities, from re-seeding the backyard to absent-mindedly shopping for patio furniture we may never buy (seriously, it's like, SO expensive... Why?!)
Meditation is getting present. It opens the door to more mindful behavior. More mindful behavior opens the door to more content. I cognitively and emotionally understand this. But one thing I neglect to spend time on from time to time is real, authentic, taking action.
And it's not all bad. I mean I do my START YOUR DAY routine, which includes journaling, meditation, accountability partner check-ins, affirmations and gratitude lists - at least 95% of the time. I take a lot of action, and I take stock in accomplishing that action.
But - why not for things in my day and my life that can bring me great joy? Why not spend real authentic time on the things that not only fulfill me, but also my family, friends and those for whom I might be able to be of service?
I guess the important question isn't why but rather how. How do i stop this? I mean I can probably spend months researching the why of this particular behavior, but time's a tickin on my 30's. I have 33 (er.. 32) days til my 40th birthday, so I'll leave the research for a later date and instead focus on the How.
Over the next few weeks I'll keep accountable on time, along with how I can better implement my meditation, mindful and brain science-y type practices in all areas of my life. I'll be vulnerable in sharing my successes and my stumbles, and will also make sure I practice the ancient practice of "give yourself a damn break". In other words, it's less about digging deep to find something to fix so I can beat myself up, and instead take actions to clear away some of the road blocks on my Waze Map.
Til Day 31